So...

When you find things out like, your previous youth pastor cheated on his wife with a friend of yours, it kinda feels like everything is going in slow motion. Or more like, you're in slow motion and the world around you just keeps spinning. I've always struggled with thinking that youth ministry had an affect on today's students. I thought that the leaders never really cared about us and never walked the walk. I didn't think that students listened and even tried to live out what was preached to them. Then, I finally got over that. I finally saw that there are students who do try to live those sermons out and want to make a difference in their schools. Or there are the ones who want to do those things, but are afraid of what might happen to them. Life might get harder or friends will become non existant for them. Either way, there are students out there and when they do decide to live out what there youth ministers preach to them, they are gonna need a lot of support. They want to be able to look back in a few years and still say that they had an amazing youth pastor who loved God and loved them and lived above reproach. Unfortunately, I'm not one of the kids who can say that. Moving back to Happy brought me with question, will kids listen? But now, another question has come up. Am I living the life that they deserve? Am I the steady role model that they need? I wish I had one growing up because a lot of my leaders weren't good role models. They lived out their lives like no one else mattered. As if people younger than them weren't watching them. But I was and now, watching them still, I see that once again, no one is perfect. Temptation is everywhere and if humans aren't prayed up, they will fall into it. That really really sucks. I lost a role model. But instead of being angry at him, I pity him. I'm hoping that he's going to church again. I'm hoping that he knows about God's grace. I'm praying that God puts someone in his life to show him that.