Never!

Only promises. Empty ones. I'm pretty sure that I deserve a little bit more than that! I don't need to go on thinking that I'm worth something to this person if I'm actually not. They have proven it over and over again that I mean nothing to them through their actions and phone calls, or lack there of. They say they miss me but no, it's a lie and even though I'm a liar, I don't do it to hurt other people. This person, it seems like that's all they desire to do. I want so badly to tell them that their actions actually matter, but I can't. They get angry easily. I can't help but think that I was used. But then again, I used them first. I realize that they aren't a huge part of my life, but I can't help but be hurt by the little mean things they do. I refuse to settle. I refuse to get used once more. Once again, I deserve more than that. I'll find someone one day. But I need to get myself straightened out first. I want to desperately find myself. I want to help people and I want to be happy. But my version of happiness is off and I need to get it on the right track. My happiness doesn't involve this person. If it does then, that's a rather large surprise to me. I'll do God's will. Not my own. Which kinda sucks ha. But He knows better than I do. I need someone to stand up for me and take care of me. To call me and text me, not the other way around. Someone to lead, not be led. It's the girl's job to wait, so that's what I'll do. After my covenant is over of course. It starts on Saturday. God help me.