I think it's finally starting to hit

First years come on Saturday...scary. The fact that I'll be a d-team leader and have to actually do half or a third of the leading. I think that I'll be ok and stuff, but I'm afraid that me and Jeff won't get along very well, which so far it's been ok, but still, me and Jeff didn't get along all the time last year. And I know that not everyone will get along, but I'm hoping that me and Jeff will get along more than we did last year...and last week. I'm in Ten small groups so that's pretty exciting and the kids in the group are great, but honestly, I'm nervous about that too. Once again, I know that God will help me and things will go great, but that doesn't stop me from being nervous. Prayers...definitely needed!

Today...

seemed a bit slow. Actually very slow. I didn't feel very productive today on what needed to be done in the dorms or in the offices. I got a lot of Berean done though so that I feel very good about. Berean is diffrent from what I thought it would be. I thought it would be long and hard and really boring, but it's not. It's more like long, sort of easy and extrememly interesting. I've learned so much from this first chapter on the Synoptic Gospels than I have from just reading the Bible as is. what I mean by that is that I'm reading the Bible in a whole new way that makes me think outside the box more and see the deeper meaning of the words. I just love it and I know that it will get harder, but God will help me through it. I do my part and He'll be faithful...like He always is.

Things are Good

I'm just a generally happy person and no it's not because I'm from Happy. I think that I like saying that I'm from Happy though, just because it's different. Someone asks me, "where are you from?", I say,"Texas." They are uninterested but if I say that I'm Happy, Tx they get all wide-eyed and start asking questions and what-not. But, I'm definitely not ashamed of my town, or anything like that, so perhaps that's just my way of showing it. I've had so many epiphanies lately that it's hardto keep track of them all! Some of them are new and some of them are just little reminders from what I've been told in the past. They are all good though. But, things are great, life is great and I'm just great. For good this time.

I don't want this to start on a bad note...but

I'm having some major issues right now. Have you ever had a best friend that you felt that you could share anything with, but hurts your feelings without realizing it and you are afraid to tell him/her? I'm in that spot and let me tell you it sucks. I might be just a little selfish with her because I know that I'm moving away this week and I want to be able to hang out with her like we used to. But, she has this boyfriend, who is a great guy don't get me wrong, but he is away a lot. He leaves for about 2 weeks max for work then comes home for a few days only to leave again. Kinda sucks for the girlfriend, I understand. I don't know how to ride a bike. I tried to learn but could never get the hang of it. Last Monday I asked my friend to teach me and she seemed really excited about it! She kept reminding me that on Sunday I would have to come over and stay the night, just like old times. I like old times. We had fun in the old days. Thursday comes around and I get to talking about it and since the day is getting closer I'm getting more and more pumped. This is when she tells me that Her boyfriend is coming into town on Saturday at noon and leaving again on Monday at noon. I understand just as much as the next person how important it is to jut be with your boyfriend. I really do. So, she asks if we could just hang out on Monday after he leaves. Which is supposed to be at noon, just remember that. Well, my parents are moving out of their house and I'm packing for my move to Austin all that weekend, including Monday so I told her that it probably wasn't going to happen. My only free full day was Sunday. So I offer an alternative. I asked her if should would want to come to church with me on Wednesday so we could at least get a few hours to hang out and stuff. She says sure. Saturday I call her to see if anything has changed so we could have extra time to hang out, but she said that Sunday will be full of homework and she would be with her boyfriend Monday morning before he left. I totally understand, that makes sense. I call her Sunday around 6 and she is with her boyfriend...ok...cool. She said that she got done with her homework early and wanted to see him...that, once again makes sense. But she wasn't alone with him. Her, him and two other people were getting together to clean some friend's house for him. It would have been a nice gesture...if he had appreciated it. He didn't. Monday I call her around three cuz I knew that the boyfriend was leaving at noon so I figured that since I got my stuff done a little early we could hang the rest of the day. Oh no, she couldn't hang cuz she was with her boyfriend. I told her that I thought he was leaving at noon that day, but she said no. He was never going to leave at noon that day. Even though that is what she told me, apparently it was never even thought about. I guess that makes me a liar. Anyway, I sorta figured this up, and the only reason I'm doing this is because my feelings are hurt, I'm angry, upset and really curious as to why my best friend ditched me twice for her boyfriend. This guy comes home every two weeks. Sometimes every week. Either way she still sees him more than she sees me. Not really a bad thing, however, I'm moving to Austin this Friday and won't be back till Christmas. I'm hoping to see her at Christmas, but with all of this going on, and the whole ditch the best friend for the boyfriend thing has happened more than once, it's very likely that I won't even see her until next summer. The boyfriend, who will see her at least once every two weeks gets two days to spend with her, while I only get 3 hours while I'm in Austin. And, while I'm with her, she texts the boyfriend all the time. ALL THE TIME. No matter if we are in the movies or anything. But when she's with him and I text her, not knowing they are together, she says that she can't talk cuz they're together. I once again understand the need to be with the boyfriend, but really? I'm not sure if I want to have to work around HIS schedule just to be able to talk to my best friend of 4 years. He's known since freaking January. I'm talking to her about it tonight. I want to work things out. For the better.